Welcome Home

it has been suggested that i continue this site, at least with an "i'm home" post to close it out. so, ah, yeah, i'm back at hood. i'm pretty sure you all knew that already, so i'll just talk a little bit about the welcome home ceremonies.

the first thing i'll say is that there are signs everywhere. you can't go a block without seeing a new sign. "welcome home 1st cav," "welcome home greywolf,"welcome home heroes" etc. etc. etc. big hundred foot banners stretching the walls of III corp to pictures little kids drew on a piece of paper, the signs are everywhere. FRGs (family readiness group) even made welcome home signs by sticking red plastic cups thru the chain link fences around the motor pools we're operating out of.

anyways, about the ceremonies. family gather at the parade field in front of the 1st cav division headquarters. there are bleachers set up in a U shape for people to sit, a DJ to play music, and the USO handing out free drinks and snacks while everyone waits. updates come over the loud speakers about the soldiers progress. "you're soldiers have landed at the airport," "you're loved ones have boarded the busses and are leaving the airport now," "they're five blocks away" with a few others in-between.

the last couple of blocks the busses take are lined on either side with American flags about every 10 feet. the busses pull up complete with a police escort (which is good since they go the wrong way down a one way street) and stop in front of the parade field with barely a foot or two between them to block the view of everyone waiting in the bleachers. while the newly arriving soldiers pile out to form up on the other side of the busses, the DJ plays a special music set complete with the famous "let's get ready to rumble" know from every boxing match and a fair amount of austin powers sprinkled in for good measure.

the DJ pumps up the crowd with a "they can't hear you" known to anyone who's attended summer camp until everyone's formed up and the busses pull away as family members strain their necks looking for a specific person in a sea of indiscernible army combat uniforms.

this is where the army gets smart. after they all march onto the field the color guard is dismissed, the division chaplain says a prayer, some brass gives a 30 sec job well done speech then releases them to their families. from the time they march onto the parade field to the time they're dismissed is about 3 mins. from there the families rush the formation trying to find waldo where everyone wears a red and white striped shirt. it's pure chaos, but it's fun chaos.

Reverse SRP

about a month ago ft hood made national news when a "man" undeserving of the association with the U.S. Army using his rank would imply or the association with humanity using his name would imply murdered 13 soldiers. the building where he carried out his attack was mentioned in the news as where soldiers go for medical checks and legal issues before deploying overseas. it is also where we go when we return from deployment to complete the same tasks, which is why i went to that building a few days after returning to hood.

the actual part of the building where the shooting took place has been closed off while the investigation is being conducted. what i found interesting tho, is that fort hood adopted a firm policy of fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, you'll deal with several MPs.

SRP (soldier readiness processing) is now done in 2 different buildings and both buildings have exactly one accessible entrance/exit and both are guarded by military police with metal detector wands to check for weapons. it's probably more for psychological and CYA reasons than anything else, but fort hood is taking security very seriously.

Armistice Day

i've had a couple vietnam vets tell me what it was like coming home from war in their day. it's amazing how much things have changed.

i remember when i came back for R&R in april there was a group of people waiting at the top of the escalator exiting the terminal to clap everytime someone in uniform showed up. when i came back a few days ago there were 3 soldiers on the flight from atlanta to philly. when we landed, the flight attendent went thru her speech, local time is 10:53, it's 63 degrees out, and we have some soldiers returning from iraq and afghanistan to go on R&R. then she asked everyone to remain seated so we could disembark first and get that extra couple of mins head start on our leave.

on every flight i've been on, as soon as the plane stops and the fasten seatbelt light goes off, everyone stands up at once to grab their bag, crowd the asile and get off as soon as possible. except this flight, where everyone listened to the flight attentent. i was in the very last row and everyone kept their seats until i got to the front. i got there before they were even ready to open the door. then the flight attendent announced that all the soldiers had made it to the front and everyone stood up at once to grab their bag. but no one thought twice about moving from their seat until all the military personel and gone before them. just thought that was a nice story to share on vets day, and a thank you to all the people who have been so nice.

NFL

at first i was upset that i'd miss most of football season. now i'm thinking it might be a blessing in disguise.

Carl Sandburg Is So Smart, S-M-R-T

recently i thought of something (i forget what now) that made me think of farside cartoons, which in turn made me think of a semi-famous quote by carl sandburg, "Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come" it occurs to me that this is not just a very stupid idea, but a very dangerous one as well.

this gives the impression that throwing a war is like throwing a party. if no one shows up, you're just a guy with a lot of red cups. no harm, no foul. instead, war is more like a mugging.

you can be absolutely determined to not get mugged walking down a dark alley. but informing a mugger of your moral supperiority in not bringing a weapon does nothing against his weapon. you might have the moral high ground, but he has your money. he's won, you've still lost.

it takes two to tango, but only one to start a fight. if i hit you, and you refuse to defend yourself, that doesn't stop the fight, it just makes it one-sided.

now, what if a despotic government (there's still a few of those) decides to throw a war and we don't show up? U.N. resolutions declaring our superiority do not stop tanks. America is the undisputed superpower in the world, the ultimate status quo power. Every war is against us, and the only wars we lose are the ones we don't show up to.

A River Runs Through It

so, last night i went first in my platoon's boxing matches. to answer your questions, no, it didn't go well. i had a big problem of not trusting my hands to block for me. i tried pressing the "B" button, but that didn't work either. he'd swing and i'd duck, which amazingly enough left the back of my head wide open, which soon left my face wide open. i had trouble last night deciding if the back of my head hurt or if it was my nose. (it was my nose).

anyways, i was good to keep going, but the other guys didn't want me to keep bleeding on the gym floor. i had to go outside till the river stopped flowing out of my nose. (get the title now?) it was fun.

Re-up You're Crazy, Re-up You're Outta Your Mind

So, an interesting development has... developed. Right now I'm scheduled to ETS (get out of the army) in jan 2012. My best friend in the army is thinking about reenlisting to go to germany and wants me to go with him.

The down side to doing that is that i'd be in the army for an extra 2 years past my current contract and wouldn't get out until 2014.

The up side is that i'd be living in europe for 3 years. every so often the army has a 3 or 4 day weekend, and i've heard units stationed in europe get even more than those stationed in the U.S. with every part of europe within 8 hours of where i'd be, i've already figured out how conversations would go before those long weekends:

other guy: i'm bored. what do you want to do this weekend?
me: i dunno. wanna go to rome?
other guy: sure

then we'd go to rome. or athens. or venice. or berlin. or london. or moscow. etc. etc. etc.

it's a once in a life time oportunity, but i also takes 2 years from my life. i'm torn. what are your thoughts? i think i know what most of you would recommend, but i want to hear your advice anyways. let me know.

Um, What?

i got on the comp a few minutes ago and saw all kinds of things about President Obama winning the nobel peace prize. what is the world coming to when you can get one of the most prestigious awards in the world for simply saying what people want to hear but accomplishing almost none of it? every now and then i'm glad i can't follow the news like i do in the states.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

i really have nothing. i just thought of that line (can't remember what it's from) and figured as long as i have an audience that for some reason reads whatever i write, i might as well throw it out there. fooled ya!

The Green Light of Justice

a couple of nights ago i was a gunner for a humvee during a night mission. we got bored, so my driver and i played a little game of "i spy." however, we both had NODs on, so the game went a little something like this:

driver: i spy with my little eye something green
me: is it the sand?
driver: yes


NB. NODs stands for night time ocular device (aka night vision googles) which turns everything green.

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

i finally got around to watching the first bit of fiddler on the roof, and it brought up an interesting question. is it bad that when watching a classic American musical, the dvd starts off a famous song with, "if i were a rich man" and my mind finishes it with "then i'd have all the money in the world..."

if you don't know what i'm talking about, good.

I Got Swine Flu...

...vacincation. all the cool kids are doing it.

Cold Wave

it's getting pretty cold here at night. people are starting to wear coats and what not. the other day, my thermometer said 66 degrees outside. brrrrr!

YAY!

so, yesterday i made the biggest purchase of my life so far... a new car! (btw, if you didn't read that with a "the price is right" voice, start over and read it the right way.)



anyways, its a 2010 ford focus SES. sterling gray exterior, charcol black interior. It comes with an alarm system, satalite radio (may or may not use), 6 CD changer, a jack for my ipod, sun roof and a bunch of other things i can't think of right now. it also has something called ford sync. not entirely sure, but i think it will make the radio/cd/ipod voice activated. very cool. at the least, it lets me make voice activated phone calls. safety first mom.

Fudge

speaking of fudge, it got good reviews. i shared it with the guys living in my C-HUT, and the general reaction once they put a piece in their mouth was wide eyes(literally) followed by, "where did this come from?" and "give me another." good job mom.

Package

i recently received a package from home. in it were some peanut butter crackers, various num nums, and the best homemade fudge in the world. but the best part of that package was the pic of all my nephews and nieces together. the food will go away, but the pic will stay on my wall till i leave. thanks.

WHAT?

right now, as i type this, there is literally water falling from the sky! also, this may or may not be a coincidence, but there was also water falling from my ceiling. i'll have to get some scientists in white coats to work on that.

The Fall of Baghdad

i was talking to some of the terps here at the cop, and one in particular struck me. he speaks very good english, actually lives in the U.S. (that's where he joined the terp company) and will officially be an American citizen in a few months.

anyways, on 9 apr 2003, i was in my dorm room (freshman year) watching iraqis take sledgehammers to a giant statue of saddam in baghdad. the terp i was talking to was watching the same event, a block away from the statue. very cool.

Job Title

i've had several different call signs while in iraq. when i was in first platoon, i was a dismounted rifleman, saw gunner, a gunner and driver for the lt and first squad, and RTO(radio telephone operator) for the lt. now that i changed platoons, i'm a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. i can use my helm of disintegration and do one D4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus-five holy avenger. oh, i'm in black platoon.

Ramadan

so, we're coming up on the end of ramadan. i was going to write about this when ramadan started, but time flys when you're pulling 17 hour work days. anyways, i don't know how much you've heard about ramadan, but it's probably true. while the sun is up there is no: eating, drinking, smoking or looking at women. you can look at your wife, but that's it.

it is also a time to try to be a better muslim. be nicer to people, perform favors, all that good stuff. that's where my interest comes in. a few days before ramadan started, we got a brief on it. we don't drink or eat while out on patrol now for the sake of the iraqis who are fasting. but there was also a security aspect to it.

does being nicer to people include us? will insurgents say, "it's ramadan, i'll be a good muslim and not attack the Americans right now" or will they say, "it's ramadan, i'll be a good muslim and attack the Americans now." result? no change. they don't like us but are too scared to come out and play with us.

Return of the Sand

a few days ago we had a massive sandstorm roll thru here. didn't last long, but visability was cut down to about 10 feet. then, right afterwards, it rained for about 20 seconds. most(only) water that's fallen from the sky since about march. the end is near.

War

don't try it at home

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/Pa-man-fires-cannon-hits-neighbors-house-57650817.html

Psychology

it's strange. i know i complained a lot about doing pointless stuff. that's primarly because my job as an infantryman is to close with and destroy the enemy. that's a real description. instead i was asking iraqis what their job was.

now i sit behind a desk and don't come anywhere close to doing an infantryman's job. but that doesn't bother me nearly as much, probably because my job is now to push papers and i'm at least doing my job. very strange.

Ask Not, Want Not

everytime i open internet explore at the mwr the home page includes a pic of President Obama, and underneath his pic is written "President Obama wants to hear from all active duty US military personnel"

no he doesn't

Random Thought

i think every soldier's secondary MOS is complaining.

"They're like a big, gray, enchanted forest"

i've heard rumors of a mystical place called "outside the wire." i have a vague recollection of seeing it, then again that might have been a dream. oh, no. every day is exactly the same.


p.s. anybody capable of following and understanding everything in this post needs to check themselves into a mental health facility immediately.

Position! Position!

just a couple days after i started my new job pushing papers, people who out rank me and have been in the army 3 times as long as me started asking me questions about how parts of the army work.

btw - the title to this post comes from me waiting for the copy of fiddler on the roof i ordered from amazon to get here. i googled the song (you better all know which one), but i think the internet is lying to me. i don't know for sure, but i thought the song is slightly different from what i found. troubling.

Everything Is Going To Be OK

no, i haven't been taken captive by AQI. i've just been real busy with my new job. hence the lack of postings. but i think i'm making up for it today.

I Have A Dream

i had a dream a couple days ago that i was back in America. i wasn't doing anything. i just looked around and said, "it's good to be back in America." end of dream.

Leave

when i get back for this deployment i'm taking 30 days of leave. that's a lot of time to fill, so i'm looking for ideas. i've got the relax and do nothing part covered already. it's high on my list. but i'm looking for other ideas as well. i'm looking for activities, not "hang out." like a baseball game, except not baseball. so far i have:

poker at atlantic city
one of those small theater thingys where the actors are also your waiters (what is that called?)

i've been thinking about leave for a while, since about the time i got on the plane to come back here, but it's mostly just been general "i'm gonna be home!" thinking. i need to get focused. so, any help would be appreciated.

NCOERs

part of my new job envolves correcting the spelling and grammer (yeah, me. crazy, right?) of the NCOs and officers who turn in paperwork, such as awards and NCOERs (NCO evaluation report). officially my job is to correct, but this eventually ends with me writting it over. well, pretty close to it. i should take some of the forms back to f&m. college students would have a heart attack looking at all the red ink.

My Job

ok, so i've had a few people ask me what i do now that i've switched jobs. basically, i do all the paperwork and administrative business for the company. if battalion needs info, i'm the one to collect it and give it to them. if someone in the company has a problem with their pay, they come to me and i contact the right people. if they want to go to a school, get promoted or go on leave, they come to me. people like me.

they also like to bother me now. everytime i go to get chow or to the gym i expect to hear "spc potts to the toc" come over the loud speakers. that's a big reason for the lack of posting.

Life Goal

my new goal in life is to make just under $79 million. at that amount, i can use a hundred dollar bill to light a cigar and, based on the 40 second burn rate i discovered, i will come out not a penny poorer. it's the simple things in life that make us happy.

Worst. Day. Ever.

a few days ago i was watching family guy(road to europe) on the tv in the dfac when the power to the dfac went out. as you may presently, yourself, fully be aware of, tvs run on power. i lost a solid 3 mins of family guy. war is hell.

I Have An Announcement

i'm rocking the bandana look when i go out on missions. that is all.

For The Record

just to clarify one more time, i still believe 100% in the mission, still believe we should have liberated iraq, and am still proud to serve my country. all my complaints (well, 95% of them) are with my inability to do more.

it's weird to look at success as a problem, but such is life.

You Know It's Hot When...

...you look at the thermometer at 8am and think, "oh good, it's only 100 degrees out."

The Heat Is On

for most of july the temp seemed to hover around 125 degrees. it was fahrenheit, but it felt like celcius. especially with all my gear on (add 10 degrees) and often inside a big metal box (my humvee).

Action

a couple of weeks ago my platoon had it's first shoots fired in anger. well, maybe not in anger, but not at a paper target either.



my platoon was going around to various villiages meeting with important iraqis for one reason or another. my friend and i were posted up at the corner of his house pulling security. we were there for a few minutes when a dog laying underneath the guys car starting barking at us. we thought nothing of it. all day dogs had been barking at us, but they were in their shade, we were in ours, and we simply agreed to disagree.



this dog was different, not content just to voice his displeasure at our arrival. a malcontent, if you will. indignant fury gripped him as he charged our position, teeth baring, in a mad dash to attack us with the obvious goal of giving me rabies. with only seconds to react, i leaned back slightly to kick him as he got close enough (in later versions this would turn into preperation for a roundhouse kick). my friend standing beside me had an interesting idea. he saw the dog charging us and thought, "hey, i have a weapon."

shots rang out, disturbing the false calm of an iraqi evening. the dog (more like a wolf, really) did not scare easily, but knew he was bested when my fiends boom stick finally hit him in the leg. the fallen beast whimpered off, recognizing his betters.

yeah, that may be a bit overdramatic, but it's also probably going to be the only action i see this whole tour.

Change Over - Switch

well, i'm changing jobs again. after almost a year and a half of the company talking about it and me fighting it, the evil "they" have pulled me into headquarters. i'll be running the training room. basically this means that i, as an infantryman trained to close with and destroy the enemy, will be handling all the company's paperwork. this is simultaneously less fun and more dangerous. now i have to lookout for papercuts.

Random Thought

i don't think the best writer in the world could come up with a decent movie script based on my tour

Sand

for those who don't know, jarhead was a book and then a movie about a marine who participated in the 1991 gulf war. anyways, in the movie there is a scene where the main character dreams he is vomiting his own weight in sand. i sometimes think about that when i take a deep breath and the air is crunchy.

Frustration

i figured i should explain some posts that might give a casual observer the impression i desire a firefight or that i'm complaining about the situation in iraq. i was going to use a highly flawed analogy, but have decided agianst that.

instead i will simply say that i am decidedly not complaining about my living conditions here. they're much better than i expected and far better than soldiers had in previous tours. and i can live without ever being in a firefight (pun 100% intended).

my frustration stems from the fact that i joined the army for four years, giving up certain freedoms and leaving my friends and family in America for a year, so that i could do what i see as noble work. but then i get here and find out the job is already done and i'm left with nothing but busy work. i thought i was going to do some good and instead i'm just doing time.

Wierd Andrew Yankovich

That mission last night was awfully stupid, I wish I'd skipped it;
I sweated like crazy and yet accomplished almost nothing;
Take my CO and my LT, anarchy is better for me;
Pass out at 1, wake up at 4, put on my gear, go out for more;
Man I hate Iraq.

Confession

the haj barbershops in iraq are pretty much full service. they do far more than just haircuts. when i first heard about this i immediately thought about getting an old fashioned shave. the idea seemed kinda cool, and let me tell you, it's the closest shave i've ever had.

while the guys working there usually speak pretty good english, that doesn't apply to all of them. during the first couple of weeks i was in iraq i went to get a haircut and was sitting next to a soldier who seemed to have shaving cream all over his face. my barber asked me if i wanted the same thing and i agreed. except it wasn't shaving cream and i didn't get an old fashioned shave. instead i got a facial. not the manliest of things, but when your living conditions leave you so dirty you sweat mud, feeling that clean is oh so good.

Shooting Stars

last night what appeared to be small meteors could be seen falling towards earth from my spot in iraq. either quite a few of my wishes are about to come true, or megatron is coming to destroy humanity. it has to be one or the other.

Army > NASA

NASA may not be visiting the moon anymore, but i'm pretty sure i am. iraq has what is known as moon dust. it's very, very fine sand that comes from being run over by heavy vehicles on a regular basis. it's also very annoying. as our convoys pass thru it the first vehicle is generally alright, but everyone else gets put into a man made sand storm. a very thick sand storm. and the sand is so fine (so fine it blows my mind. hey sand!) that it finds it's way thru every little crack in our vehicles to create a little sand storm inside as well. like i said, annoying.

Vacation

i recently spent a whole 48 hours at the FOB. it was amazing. that meant 2 nights sleep in a compfy bed, 2 long hot showers, and 2 days of largely being left alone to relax. doesn't get much better than that.

Expensive Proposition

yeah, so, i'll just go out and say it. a couple of days ago my squad escorted my lt. to meet with a guy who has 4 wives and 32 kids. leaving aside every other issue, and there's a few, that's gotta be expensive. what kind of money does this guy have that he can afford that family?

I'm Falling Apart

it's so hot and dry here that my skin on my hands have steadily been peeling off. i think i'm seeing some meat. i'm sheading so much skin i half expect to wake up one day with either wings or a larger shell.

WHAT?

first, let me provide some background info. every U.S. military installation in at least iraq and kuwait, probably the whole mideast, has bunkers placed in various locations in case of mortar or rocket attack. these aren't like germans at normandy bunkers with gun ports and living space. these are basically concrete boxes with little openings on either end. anyways, we have a simple plan in place to prepare for this. if we come under indirect fire attack, a siren sounds and everyone runs to the bunkers. alright, that's the background.

now, a couple of days ago my squad was in our room talking about what had happened that day and what will happen the next day. all of a sudden the entire building started to shake. every one of us looked down at the floor, looked up at each other, then bolted for the door. that took about one second. the indirect fire siren sounded by the time we got outside and we were all in the bunker about 3 seconds after we first got going.

there are a couple different sizes of bunkers, but the one i got to is about 8 feet by 3 feet. by the time everyone was done running like mad men to the bunkers, we had about 2 dozen stuffed into mine. it was a tight fit. the ground had shook for a good 5-7 seconds, so we knew it had to be a big explosion and really close to us, so all the leaders were pretty frantic about getting accountability of all their guys.

them getting accountability interfered with our talking, which delayed some realizations. like the fact that while we could feel the shockwave from such a large explosion so easily, we hadn't actually heard any explosion. or that the shockwave had lasted way too long.

or that it was actually an earthquake and not an attack. yeah, my first earthquake came right here in iraq. measured a 5.6 and took away what little respect i had left for california. iraqi's mud huts stoood up fine to this earthquake, but california can't build sturdier buildings. weak.

Army Humor

a few weeks ago we were all laying in our beds trying to sleep at night when a huge wind storm came. it was so windy the buildings started to shake a little. one of the guys in my squad who was already asleep woke up the the building shaking and loud noises and for some reason mistook the wind for a mortar attack. he woke up and shouted "INCOMMING" as loud as he could.

of course the rest of us started laughing at him immediately. and for the next couple of weeks whenever a small gust of wind blew by or we just thought it was funny, we'd shout "incomming" at him. it stopped for me when we were on guard duty and a strong gust of wind came and i almost yelled "incomming" into the radio before realizing other people might take me seriously. since then i've tried to keep my mocking to a managable level.

Mandatory Fun Day

every so often back at ft. hood, we had mandatory fun days. we'd get friday off to have a company bbq or something like that. a few days ago we had something similar here in iraq. there were various tournaments, such as dominos, halo 3, spades, and poker, the one i played in. there was also boxing and wrestling tournaments and a projector showing movies in one of the buildings. but probably the best part about it was that we could wear whatever we wanted and just relax without worrying that we'd be called away on mission at any moment. i woke up at about 10am and relaxed all day. it was almost like a weekend back in the states. almost.

with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Most-decorated Marine pilot dies at 89

CLACKAMAS (AP) — Retired Marine Corps Col. Kenneth L. Reusser, called the most decorated Marine aviator in history and was shot down in three wars, has died at age 89.

Reusser flew 253 combat missions in World War II, Korea and Vietnam and was shot down in all three, five times in all.

His 59 medals included two Navy Crosses, four Purple Hearts and two Legions of Merit.

In 1945, while based in Okinawa, he stripped down his F4U-4 Corsair fighter and intercepted a Japanese observation plane at a high altidude. When his guns froze, he flew his fighter into the observation plane, hacking off its tail with his propeller.

In 1950 in Korea led an attack on a North Korean tank-repair facility at Inchon, then destroyed an oil tanker almost blowing himself out of the sky.

In Vietnam he flew helicopters and was leading a rescue mission when his Huey was shot down. He needed skin grafts over 35 percent of his badly burned body.

Reusser, who lived in the Portland suburb of Milwaukie, was born Jan. 27, 1920, the son of a minister.

Reusser raced motorcycles to help pay for college and earning a pilots license before WWII.

After retiring from the Marine Corps he worked for Lockheed Aircraft and the Piasecki Helicopter Corp. He remained active in veterans groups.

Reusser died June 20 of natural causes. He is survived by his wife, Trudy; and sons, Richard C. and Kenneth L. Jr. Interment was Friday in Willamette National Cemetery.



http://www.democratherald.com/articles/2009/06/27/news/local/1loc16_reusser062809.txt

Dear Mom,

i've been reminded that both my ability to win at monopoly and desire not to litter come from the wonderful job my mother has done raising me.

.50 Cal

i figured i should put in a little info about the .50 cal to help explain the post below this one. the .50 cal is technically labled a "gianormous machine gun" (actually, it's official name is M2, pronounced Ma Duce). if you take the weapon and stand it up on it's end, it is almost as tall as i am. the full cartridge (the casing that holds the bullet, gunpowder and primer) is a little over 5 inches long. the name .50 cal comes from the size of the rounds it uses (.50 caliber), but i'm sure that means almost nothing to most of you. i don't know how caliber relates to inches (don?) and haven't done any messurements, but suffice it to say if someone gets hit with one of these rounds it doesn't matter if it happens while he's standing outside the worlds best emergency room, he'd be very lucky to come out whole.

i'm probably being a bit dramatic. just remember "gianormous machine gun."

My Motivator

as i've mentioned before, back in the old days of the "overseas contingency operation" iraqi civilians making use of an automobile were required to pull off to the side of the road when military convoys passed by. the reasoning was very simple and the same reasoning behind not letting people walk thru our formations. given terrorists tactics, they could go boom. and since vehicles have a lot of space to work with, it could turn into a big badda boom.

however, as i've mentioned before, according to the sofa agreement (you can call it sa if you want, but i don't have time for you to make up your mind on which name to settle for) iraqis are now allowed to drive beside this. but that doesn't mean i have to like it or respect it, (remember, big badda boom) or that iraqis have to trust it.

most still pull off the road when we come by. if we're going down a main highway with a divider of some sort between north and south bound traffic they can drive on the wrong side of the road to pass us and we don't much care. but we still frown upon iraqis driving right beside us.

anyways, (that was all setup to get to this point) a few days ago i was gunning a .50 cal on a MRAP. we were driving down a road with a civilian car in front of us. instead of speeding up to avoid us or pulling off the road, he simply slowed down and kept driving along the curb. i thought he was going to stop, but by the time my vehicle passed him (we were lead) he still hadn't stopped. to demonstrate my displeasure at his failure to stop, i spun my .50 cal (renamed my motivator) to the back to the MRAP pointing at his windshield. he quickly got the hint, pulled the rest of the way off the road and came to a complete stop.

something must have been wrong that day, cause about 20 mins later we were going down a different road and another vehicle decided he didn't want to stop, but this one was coming in the opposite dirrection. 3 other vehicles driving with him pulled off and stopped, but he kept coming. now, a car going in our same direction at a slow speed is probably nothing, but i still like to be cautious. a car coming at us with some speed is a problem, because if it is a vbied (vehicle borne imporvised explosive device, car bomb) we have very little time to react.

technically, at this point i have every right to open fire. i could have dumped 30 rounds into that car with a simple explination that i felt my life was in danger. however, things have been relatively quite lately and i'd feel pretty bad if i killed an innocent civilian just because he was being stupid. so instead i decided to give him a chance to prove his innocence. i once again swung my motivator into action, pointed directly at the drivers side of his windshield. it took about half a second for him to swerve off the road and come to a sudden stop.

maybe this could turn into a children's book. "My Motivator and Me." i'll have to take a break from working with trump, but i'm sure he'll understand.

The Fast-Dueling Property Trading Game

i participated in a little squad bonding, aka monopoly, last night. in case you're wondering, yeah, i dominated. grabed up all 3 light blues by my second run around the board and put up hotels the next turn. after that it was all over. someone should forward this to the trump so he can start considering my salary.

The Eye of the Tigris

for a river that claims 50% responsibility for the cradle of civilization, the tigris is kinda weak. it seems about the size of the Schuylkill river, but claims so much more importance. it should learn it's place.

Litterbug

i was out on patrol one day when we stopped at a house to talk to the man who lives there. i was at the side of the house pulling security with an IA and another man who lived at the house. like many times i go on patrol, i brought some candy with me for the kiddies. and, like many times i go on patrol, i decided to have some myself (some sugar is good when you're walking a while). anyways, i offered a piece to the IA and iraqi civilian as well, and they quickly unwrapped the candy, ate it, and threw the wrapper on the ground. with my American upbringing fighting the iraqi norm, i held the wrapper in my hand until the IA litterally took the wrapper out of my hand and dropped it, as they both laughed at me for being so silly. personally, i think greenpeace should be vocal supporters of this war.

Morale

in an effort at a little morale boost, the army brought the singer from a band to sing accoustic and a commedian who were both fairly famous about 10 years ago to perform. while they haven't been big for a few years, they were both still really good. pretty much everyone on the COP packed the dfac to listen to them.

but, just to make sure morale didn't get too high, the battalion commander and sergeant major came as well.

I Fired My Weapon Today

at a paper target. at a range. i'm still bored.

You Know It's Hot When...

your sweat mixes with floating sand to create mud in your helmet

135 Is On The Way

it's getting kinda hot around here. yesterday, my new fancy smancy thermometer said it was 117 degrees in the shade. unfortunetly i was in the sun. with my body armor on. pounding pickets into the ground. not fun. when i got back to the COP, someone said it looked like i had been swimming cause i was litterally soaked in sweat. not fun.

You're Getting Warmer

yeah, so the heat is starting to pick up now, and i was way off on my guess of the temp. 2 days ago i was told it was 107 degrees out. that's kinda hot. when i sit outside with my gear on i feel like the wicked witch of the west after a shower. yeah, i know, that's a long way to go for a metaphor, but my brain is melting.

Um, What?

as i've said before, i think, i'm learning some arabic from the IA's stationed at my COP. i know enough to make basic small talk and a few specific phrases, but a lot of it is hard. they make some weird sounds that i don't understand and don't seem to be able to do. it's kinda like rolling my R's with spanish, except half the language is like that. ba'aana'la'araa. it's some kind of gutteral sound i didn't think humans could make. maybe i just need to learn how to pronounce a comma.

Differences in Time

earlier today i was thinking about the first time i gunned for an MRAP. it was my second day at the COP and i was expecting an attack from everywhere. every oddly shapped rock was a marker for IEDs and everyone standing beside the road was preparing for an ambush. i thought of this as i gunned for an MRAP earlier today and my biggest concern was that we go fast enough to create enough wind to cool me down some.

Iraqis are to Italians as Italians are to Iraqis

iraqis use their hands way too much when talking. they have a hundred different gestures that all mean something different based on how far up their chest they place their hand, or a dozen other variants. i was trying to talk to an IA the other day and i thought he wanted me to steal second base.

Lincoln

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain

Progress

i was gunning for a humvee when the turrets electrical power went out. normally i move the turret 360 degrees with a joystickish device. instead, i had to turn the turrent manually with a handcrank. this led the sergeant in my vehicle, who's been in the army for 12 years, to tell me that that's all he had when he was a new soldier. and he fought wars in 2 feet of snow, barefoot, uphill both ways.

Memorial Day

"Memorial Day is about one thing: remembering the fallen on the battlefield and passing their collective story to the next generation. These stories, and the men who bear them, are the backbone of this American experiment and must never be forgotten. As John Stuart Mill once said, “War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse.” The minute, excuse me—the second—we believe our freedoms "inevitable and/or immutable," we cease to live in history, and have soured the soldier's sacrifice. He died in the field, so we can enjoy this beautiful day (and weekend). Our freedoms—purchased on the battlefield—are indeed “worthy of war.”'

-Pete Hegseth

You Know It's Hot When...

you sweat from sitting in the shade

You Know It's Hot When...

you start to sympathize with the days dinner as it roasts in the oven

You Know It's Hot When...

you wear nothing but boxers and a t-shirt with your body armor

You Know It's Hot When...

you start to envy the days dinner as it roasts in the oven

You Know It's Hot When...

the dementia caused by heat makes your "You Know It's Hot When..." posts seem a lot like "you might be a redneck if" jokes.

You Know It's Hot When...

you hope for a sandstorm just to get a breeze

Food

after living in the land of milk and honey (or cheesesteaks and beer) for 2 weeks, it's hard to go back to what the army calls food. i'd rather eat a stapler.

I Am Legend

when i finally got back to the COP i found out i was well known for not having been at the COP. i was at the FOB for about a week waiting for a convoy to take me to the COP, even tho a few convoys did go back and forth in that time taking other people with them. this was not entirely my fault, altho i wasn't entirely upset by it either. the homecoming to my sergeants wasn't the most fun, after my platoon sergeant got to the FOB after me and the COP before me. such is life.

Finally Home

back at the COP

Cry Havoc

and let slip the cats of peace.

i'm bored.

Shoes

i'd have to say the best thing about leave, aside from seeing you people of course, was being able to take my shoes off whenever i was indoors. can't describe how nice it was not to have to keep my boots on whenever i'm not sleeping.

Petey the Pistol

finally got my weapon back. i am once again complete.

News, Smews

the AP has an article up now saying april is the deadliest month in iraq for 7 months. this is true, but still at far lower levels than we've seen before. there were a third of the number of casualties as the same time last year. also, while april was the deadliest in 7 months, march was the safest ever. i don't remember that article.

Explanation

the post about irish folk wisdom was because we made our euro lay over in ireland and was there when i heard that quote. too big of a coincidinc to pass up.

Back to the Future, Part II

speaking of which... i recently watched the back to the future trilogy and discovered a major problem. we only have 6 years to develope and mass produce hover-cars, holographic billboards and one-size-fits-all jackets with adjustable sleeves. we need to get working.

Back to the Future

well, it's that time of day again. the time of day when i have to figure out what time of day it is where you people are. you mistakenly believe i am writting this at 3:30am, when i am in fact writting it at 1030. trying to communicate with you is like a word problem for kids.

Irish Folk Wisdom

it doesn't matter how you find the pot of gold. all that matters is that you beat the leprachauns.

100 Out of 300,000,000

i've seen a few people walking around the airport wearing masks. silly people, flu is for swine.

40 Years to Change

as we walked thru the arrival gate at the atlanta airport there were a few dozen people waiting to pick up their own friends and family who applauded as soldiers came up the escalator. see, i told you it's not vietnam.

Crazy New York Drivers

they're so slow

Paintball

4 months in iraq, and i had to wait till i got back to America to shoot someone. hmmm, i wonder what this does for my ranking on the new extremist watch list?

What's going on?

i leave America for 4 months and somehow this lady gaga creature appears. i'll deal with our enemies overseas, but someone needs to pick up the slack here at home.

Why do you read this?

http://www.despair.com/blogging.html

Defenseless

i've already had about a dozen mini-freak outs as i suddenly realize i don't have my weapon and think i've lost it.

AMERICA

back in the states for a little r&r. good to be home.

Fobbit

yesterday i arrived at the FOB so i can go on leave in a few days. i got a massage, went to the PX, ate a pizza and took a long hot shower. i could get used to the fobbit lifestyle.

American Advisors

after we officially pull out of iraq, we're still going to have some of those famous American advisors in country. they'll be here to help train the iraqi security forces and help the government, but we should consider leaving a few cultural and culinary advisors as well. there are many stores called haj shops, run mostly by iraqis and turks, that cater to the American military. the operators are well versed in American lingo and know how to talk to American males in their early 20's. it's a useful skill to have for their job.

recently, however, one of the more successful haj shops decided to expand and opened a restaurant as well. it offers a small variety of American and iraqi food. unfortunetly, they didn't do all their research very well when it came to the American dishes. i looked at the menu and quickly decided on the cheese steak. i love 'em. but i was a little suprised when my lunch arrived and it was actually a steak covered in cheese. i guess they heard of a cheese steak without ever seeing what it was and just went with the simplest explination. occam isn't always right.

Stupid is as the Army does

i remember before i left ft hood to come to iraq i was talking with one of my friends about our upcoming deployment. we agreed that going to iraq had its ups and downs. we'd be getting shot at and blown up, but at least we wouldn't have to deal with all the stupidity of garrison life. wrong. wrong. we haven't been shot at and the same stupdity we dealt with back in ft hood is all the worse for occuring in a combat zone.

Rules, Laws, and other Nuisances

i was driving down a highway the other day when a thought occured to me. in a few weeks i'll be back in the states and there will actually be laws i'll have to follow about how i drive. i'll probably have to drive in one of the designated lanes, not in the middle of the road. if there's a car in front of me i want to pass, i doubt i'll have a gunner available to "suggest" they pull off to the side of the road if they haven't already. if i come upon some traffic, the police will most likely frown upon me switching lanes into oncoming traffic and forcing the other cars off the road. they'll probably want me to obey traffic lights and stop signs too. not sure i like that idea.

The FOB of war

i was able to go back to the FOB for a few hours the other day. got a chance to go to the store, eat a cheeseburger, and take a nice, hot, long shower. it was a great day.

but it got me thinking. in a couple weeks, i'm going to be back in the states and can do all those things just about any time i want. not sure what i'm going to do with myself when at any time i can hop in a car and go to a store or a resturaunt. i'll even be able to go to this thing called a mall where there are lots of different stores and resturaunts in a single building. amazing!

Latin

sergeant comes from the latin "one who serves." interestingly enough, officer is latin for "one who messes everything up but we have to listen to anyway." those romans really could fit a lot of meaning into a single word.

Leave

my leave got bumbed up. i will now be back in the states for the second half of april. plan accordingly.

Chai

iraqis can be very hospitable people. there's really no way to tell if it's real, they're just used to deference to authority, or they're trying to cover for the bad things they do at night, but the fact remains they're very nice when we come around.

we've been walking thru the nearest villiage talking to people and doing the whole "hearts and minds" thing. some houses we visit are real quick, but sometimes we stay a while and whoever we're talking to offers us chai which is simply arabic for tea. very good tea, as it happens. one day we spent a few hours going thru the villiage and i must have drank 10 cups of chai. very small cups, but still... i felt like a british soldier liberating the netherlands.

I am the law!

one of the hardest lessons to learn here is that we can pretty much do anything we want. i'm used to life in America were we all generally obey the law and do things in a proscribed manner. sure, i may go a few miles over the speed limit, but other than that things are pretty orderly.

in iraq, however, there are far fewer restrictions on what we can do to accomplish a task. if we want to stop the enemy from moving weapons, set up random roadblocks and search every car. if we think someone in a particular villiage is a bad guy, search the whole villiage. we think they might run away with their weapons when they see U.S. soldiers going house to house, cordon off the villiage. nobody goes in or out till we're done.

if we knock on your door, it's a courtesy. we'll now ask permission to enter your house, but yes or no, we're going in (they've never said no). wherever we are, no one else goes. if we have to stop in the middle of the street for something, all traffic stops with us, but a good 200 meters back.

we're as nice and understanding as we can be in everything we do, but this is still a war and that gives us priority over the local nationals' freedom of movement.

If you can't be 'em, just wait

since soon after the war began there has been people, including myself, arguing against any timetable for the withdrawl of troops from iraq. now that i'm here i have the privilage of seeing our reasoning proved true.

there were 2 main arguments made against a timetable. 1) it's a big morale boost to a nearly beaten enemy to realize they only have to survive till a certain date in order to claim victory and 2) that same enemy will launch larger and more numerous attacks as the day approaches so they can say their attacks drove us out.

it's hard to gage the first argument, but the second one seems to be fairly accurate. we're receiving word that units and locations that haven't been attacked for months are suddenly coming under motar attack, small arms fire, or increased IED implacements.

the most dangerous part of any mission is the exfiltration. on tactical missions into cities we have sergeants and officers to do everything they can to limit the dangers. for the strategic mission into iraq we have politicians increasing them. thank you Mr. President.

Ricky Bobby

so, we finally got to do something related to an infantryman's job. i won't go into too much detail about it, but i do want to mention one fun aspect to it. are you ready?

I GOT TO BE PART OF A HIGH SPEED CHASE!!!!

not only that, i was on the chasing side of it, which isn't something i'd imagined a year ago. anyway, my CO (commanding officer, captain) had loosened the gloves(but not taken them off, of course) and we were on our way to search a small villiage. as we pulled up, a truck took off. a helicopter we had hovering up above notified us he was leaving and threw smoke grenades in front of the truck to try to get him to stop. but he increased speed instead, getting about a mile away from us.

so we figured this is a bad guy. let's go get him. luckily, i was driving that day. unfortunetly, i was the last of three vehicles. but not for long. when word came over the radio to stop the truck, the 2 vehicles in front of me hesitated just long enough for me to pull into the lead. i put the pedal to the metal, going as fast as i could, over dirt roads or just thru fields making my own roads. the whole time the copter was overhead throwing out more smoke grenades and directing us to the truck. oh, and don't listen to what anyone else might say. there was no chance of me flipping the humvee.

eventually the chase got onto a hardball(paved street) and we caught up to him. he finally decided to pull over and i screeched to a halt, angling in front of him. our guys got him out of the truck and questioned him, which wasn't so much fun for him. turned out he didn't have anything. he was just a really, really stupid guy who thought he didn't have to stop for copters throwing smoke grenades, and turned into a really, really scared guy who learned a valuable leason. don't run from me.

anyway, it was probably the most fun filled 10 mins i've had in months.

Jury Duty

ha! i received an "Official Jury summons" in the mail. don't think i'll make it.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot

not only is it cold in the desert, it's raining! a lot.

The Army killed the radio star

there is a certain way to talk over military radios. some of it we follow, most we ignore. i'm not going to get into all of it, but i figured our code names might be interesting to the civi world. our radios are secure, but for some reason we're not allowed to use proper names over the radio. not sure why. don?

anyways, instead of using names, we use positions. for instance, when i was the LT's gunner, my call sign was Red 1 Golf. Red(first platoon name) 1(vehicle number) Golf(gunner). when i was moved to a dismount squad and gunned for the humvee, i became Legion 2(second squad name) Golf(gunner). sometimes i also take over driving duties for the humvee, in which case i am Legion 2 Delta(driver).

if, however, i'm just a passenger i don't have a position or therefore a call sign. but if someone needs to talk to or about me, they still can't use my name. we have a clever little way to get around that. in that situation, i am "code name potts." letter of the law.

11B

i just want to clarify something from the last post. i have not been in a fire fight yet and have not been blown up yet. and i'd like that trend to continue. but only if i'm not getting into fights because we've disrupted the enemy to the point he is unable to plan and execute effective operations or he's too scared to engage us. if that's the case, we've basically won the war. let's go home.

if, however, we're not getting into fights because we're too scared to engage the enemy or too many constraints are being placed on us, then what's the point? i joined the army because my country is at war. i signed up to do my duty for my country, not to fly half way around the world and watch bad guys go by.

like i said, i have no desire to fight, just to do my job.

SOFA

i'm just gonna go ahead and put it out there that i hate the SOFA agreement. the SOFA agreement (status of forces agreement) covers what we are and (mostly) are not allowed to do.

imagine you are a doctor, and the hospital you work for signs a deal that says you are not allowed to use needles or ask your patient any questions without their 3rd cousin twice removed present. there would probably be a lot of needlessly sick people roaming around.

that's kinda what's happening here, but the end result is reversed. there's a lot of people walking around who don't need to be alive and well, or at least free. there's people who need killin', but the SOFA agreement won't let us do it. it's not so much that i want to kill them, it's just i want them not to be alive anymore.

P.S. yes, i know saying SOFA agreement is redundant, but that's just the way it works. kinda like saying fedex express. it's just something you have to deal with.

P.P.S. if the last line of the post doesn't quite seem like it fits, don't worry about it. it's not meant for everyone, but i couldn't resist the option to put it in.

It's 1700 somewhere

i figured i'd explain military time for anyone who is unsure how it works. it's actually quite simple. it's exactly the same for the A.M. just replace "o'clock" with "hundred hours." eight o'clock is zero eight hundred hours. to change P.M. time to military time, just add 12 and "hundred hours." 4+12=16. four o'clock is sixteen hundred hours. simple stuff, but i got a post out of it.

Like father, like son

when we go on patrol, i usually bring individually wrapped candy with me. as we roll past kids i throw it out to them from my turret. i feel like santa clause at the thanksgiving day parade and all the kids suffer thru weird floats just to see me with my treats.

The NFL and me

a few of the st. louis rams cheerleaders came to my COP a week or two ago as part of a USO tour. unfortunely i was out on a mission at the time. but it's alright. it's not like they were the redskins cheerleaders.

Ranks

Joes
E1 - private - PVT
E2 - private - PV2
E3 - private first class - PFC
E4 - specialist - SPC

NCOs
E5 - sergeant - SGT (in charge of a team)
E6 - staff sergeant - SSG (in charge of a squad)
E7 - sergeant first class - SFC - platoon sergeant (PSG) (highest enlisted soldier in a platoon)
E8 - first sergeant (1st SGT) (hightest enlisted soldier in a company)
E9 - command sergeant major (CSM) (highest enlisted soldier in a battalion and up)

Officers
O1 - second lieutenant - 2nd LT - platoon leader (PL - in charge of a platoon)
O2 - first lieutenant - 1st LT - platoon leader (PL - in charge of a platoon)
O3 - captain - CPT - commanding officer (CO - in charge of a company)
O4 - major - MAJ - rarely commands anything, a fairly useless rank :-)
O5 - lieutenant colonel - LTC (in charge of a battalion)
O6 - colonel - COL (in charge of a brigade)
O7 - brigadier general
O8 - major general
O9 - lieutenant general
O10 - general

Units of units

below is a quick breakdown of the division of forces in the army, at least as it applies to my division.

-team (ground) is 3 soldiers (2 riflemen and 1 SAW gunner) + team leader (E-5) / vehicle (mounted) is 2 crew members (driver and gunner) + vehicle commander (E-6 or PL or PSG)
-squad (ground) is 2 teams + squad leader (E-6) / section (mounted) is 2 vehicles commanded by one of the E-6s
-platoon is 3 squads and 2 sections + PL and PSG
-company is 3 platoon and a headquarters platoon (administration) + CO and 1st SGT
-battalion is 2 infantry companies, 2 tank companies, 1 enginer company, 1 headquarters company, 1 support company + LTC and CSM
-brigade is 3 battalions, 1 support ballalion (where the support companies come from), 1 headquarters company + COL and CSM

we deploy in brigade, so that's the highest that matters. i have to go now, but i'll explain the abbreviations later

2 Months into Iraq

and i'm still curious what being in a war is like.

Clarification

i guess i wasn't clear about my job change. i didn't misplace my MRAP, it was taken from me. bad men (with rank) took it from me to give it to other people. this is not robin hood, this is prince john. not happy with this mystery person.

Work harder, not smarter

the new army motto

The bad economy reaches the army

i've been laid off. i lost my job as the LT's driver when we lost the LT's MRAP. i've been moved to a dismount squad, but i'll often be gunning on the squads humvee. but sometimes i will actually have to walk like a lowly peasant. it's a rough life.

REM

when i was a kid i used to have day dreams about being a soldier in some great war. maybe we were fighting the soviet union or maybe the nazis came back through some weird time portal. whatever. now that i'm actually a soldier in a real war(kinda), i fantasize about getting 5 hours of uninterupted sleep.

Real men of genius

i want to know who the first person was to settle in this area. who walked into this vast wasteland and thought, "well, there's little water, little food, and my whole family will probably pass out from heat exhaustion twice a week, but look at all this sand!"

Blade

we had our first sand storm a couple days ago. not as bad as i expected it to be, but they probably get worse. one cool thing about it tho is that the storm gave everything a yellow tint. it looked exactly like putting yellow tinted sunglasses on. also, there was enough sand flying around to cause a haze that allows us to stare directly at the sun. looked like a really bright full-moon.



anyone who can figure out how the title of this post fits gets 500 points. i really want to see if anyone knows. using the internet is cheating, but if no one gets it before too long, i will allow it.

Good

Cliff Cornell fled the U.S. Army four years ago for British Columbia when his Georgia artillery unit was ordered to serve in the Iraq War.

On Wednesday, Feb. 4, Cornell was deported from Canada, arrested in the U.S. and booked into the Whatcom County jail.

http://www.bellinghamherald.com/102/story/784599.html

HOO-AH!

hooah (hoo ah) adj., adv., n., v., conj., interj., excla.
Origin Unknown - Slang.
1. Referring to or meaning anything and everything except "no". 2. What to say when at a loss for words. 3.a. Good copy. b. Roger. c. Solid copy. d. Good. e. Great. f. Message received. g. Understood. h. Acknowledged. 4.a. Glad to meet you. b. Welcome. 5. "All right!" 6.a. I don't know the answer, but I'll check on it. b. I haven't the foggiest idea. 7. I am not listening. 8. "That is enough of your drivel; sit down!" 9. Yes. 10. "You've got to be kidding me!" 11. Thank you. 12. Go to the next slide. 13. You've taken the correct action. 14. I don't know what that means, but I'm too embarassed to ask for clarification. 15. Squared away (He's pretty hooah.) 16. Amen!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=term=hooah

The children are the future, and the present

we can get a good feel for how friendly a neighborhood is by how the kids react to us. they haven't quite learned how to conceal their feelings like their parents. if the kids are smiling, waving, and giving us a thumbs up, i can assume they've heard some good things about us from their parents. if, however, they scowl at us, pretend a stick is a weapon they're firing at us, or throw rocks at us, i can assume their parents haven't exactly been singing our praises. of course, they're usually smart enough to wait until we've passed to throw rocks, and they have yet to hit my truck. somebody needs to introduce them to baseball.

Free time? We don't need no stinkin free time

watching movies on my laptop is one of my primary sources of entertainment (thanks don). so a good idea of how busy i've been lately is that i've been working on the same movie for the past week.

No candy for you!

my platoon rolled through a villiage that wasn't so much fun. it was about 2-3 miles of narrow roads, random allys, tall buildings, lots of people and not a friendly face among them. my eyes were constantly moving, searching for the one guy stupid enough to try something. i was definetly happy to be out of there.

Show and Tell

sometimes when i'm writting these posts i feel like a 6 year old writting a paper about what they did over the weekend. i had a cheeseburger. it was good. we watched tv while we ate. my dog wanted some too. his name is crusher. the end.

So bring me two Coors Light. I want one for each hand.

unfortunetly i wasn't able to watch the superbowl or the commercials that go with it. but even though i couldn't watch the game on tv, i played a different game myself called "drink the beer." i won. we all got 2 beers to go with the cheeseburgers served at midnight. it was a good meal.

RIP

JRP

When we get back to the fog, mkay

i went back to the FOB and was able to get a haircut, a massage, and a pizza. best day in a while.

Thank you

Mr. Flood

Beggers can't be choosers, but they can be allegories

whenever we stop somewhere in a village most of the kids in the area inevitably gather around our vehicles. they know to stay a safe distance away, but also how to get close enough to let us know they want something. luckily for them, i also like giving them things and have started carrying candy with me in my turret. the problem is that there is always more kids than candy and they always want more.

once i throw out some candy, a pattern emerges. more and more kids get closer and closer trying to be the next one to get whatever i toss into the crowd. eventually they get too close and i have to shoo them away. more kids join the group, and after a little bit of standing back they get bold again and come closer, and i have to shoo them away again, maybe after throwing out some more candy.

after going thru this one time, i suddenly had a feeling like i was back in ocean city, nj. i couldn't figure out why until i realized they were acting just like the seagulls who were constantly after my food. give them a little bit, and they'll keep coming back as long as there's a chance for one more french fry.

#2) they're like sand people. easily startled, but they'll be back, and in greater numbers.

So far so good

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090201/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_iraq

Elections tomorrow

pay attention to the news the next few days. if the elections go well and the people are generally satisfied, it could make my job a lot easier. if polling locations blow up or iraqis don't agree with the results, it could get interesting.

Posture

i was on guard duty the other day and suddenly thought about movies showing girls walking around with books on their heads to teach them proper posture. i realize now this technique was a mistake. instead, they should have simply worn an OTV for a couple hours each day. sure, with a book on your head you will know right away if your posture is off, but try slumping with an OTV on. you may not immediately know you're wrong, but in a couple hours the pain in your lower back will remind you for quite some time to come. and really, pain is a more demanding teacher than treasure island falling by your feet.

15 Minutes Prior

the army has a saying that if you're not early, you're late. when given a specific time to be someplace, you are actually supposed to arrive 15 minutes prior to that time. but sometimes this takes on a life of its own and becomes ridiculous. eventually we get told to be wherever we're supposed to go 15 minutes prior to 15 minutes prior to the time given.

one good example is morning formation back at ft hood. formation was at 6:30. 15 minutes prior we would have to be out on the field formed up. but 15 minutes prior to that, or 6:00, we'd have to be in the company area for a platoon role call before the company role call. but to make sure everyone was on time for the platoon role call, we'd have to arrive 15 minutes prior to that, or 5:45. that was until the time someone came in at 5:50, and we had to show up another 15 minutes prior, or 5:30. this is for a 6:30 formation. so we'd stand around, most of us sleepy eyed, for 45 minutes waiting to go outside to stand in formation for 15 minutes to show that we showed up on time. the army makes perfect sense.

Crusher

Bravo Company, 1-12 Cav has adopted an iraqi dog. he has his own bed and plenty of bored soldiers to bring him more food than he can eat.

Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow

i may be in iraq for my birthday, but it's still better than last year. i was in georgia.

The Day After Tomorrow...

... i will be a quarter century old. not sure i like it.

Clothes

some of the iraqis we see do still wear the traditional arab garbs, but most are actually wearing western style clothing. the style left America in the late 80's/early 90's, but it's still western.

Euro heaters?

the AC/heater unit in my hut on the COP goes by celsius instead of fahrenheit. weird.

Army Speak, V2.0

i put up a translation of army-speak on the left sidebar.

What I miss most about America...

is probably the wonderful convinence of having the bathroom in the same building i'm living in. i hate having to go out in the cold to use it.

Saddam, the mother of all jokes

a few days ago i was talking (sort of) with an IP when another guy in my platoon gave him a black and mild. a black and mild is kind of a cross between a cigerette and a cigar. anyway, it looks close enough to a cigar to the IP that he thought of saddam, who smoked them quite often. with the "cigar" in one hand he raised his other in a familiar pose (to iraqis) and laughed in an overly deep voice before pretending to fire a rifle into the air to mock his former "president." it was pretty funny, but probably something you have to be there for.

KP

yesterday i had KP duty. essentially, that means i did the cooks job for them because they were too lazy to do it themselves. so while the cook was sitting down and relaxing, i was restocking drinks. while i was wiping down the tables, he was every so slowly wandering around the dfac. annoying little POG.

KP also meant i had the great fun of taking all the trash out to the burn pit, covering it in diesel fuel, and lighting it on fire. we only have a slightly better sanitation department than the iraqis.

Where are the young men?

most of the IPs we're working with seem to be in their 30's. where's all the young guys who are supposed to be fighting wars?

President Obama

at least there's one good thing about being in iraq this year.

Meet the new boss, much worse than the old boss.

i'm not entirely sure of the exact rules, but i'm pretty sure the military is required to respect the office of the President and be curtious to the person who holds that position, which we generally do. but i do not believe we are required to keep silent about policy disagreements with our commander in chief, at least not in private. and we were in a private setting when we were watching news about the inaguration and the vast majority made their disagreements known. it's often hard to win the support of the military when you talk about cutting "unnecessary programs" that are designed to save our lives and accuse us of air raiding innocent civilians.

20 Jan, 2009

a sad day for America.

Trash

iraq clearly has not heard of a sanitation department. there is literally litter everywhere. well, not really, but i like the literally-litter combination. anyways, there's a lot of trash lining the sides of the roads.

Animals, pt 2

i mentioned the camels and sheep, but there's so much more to the animal life here.

everywhere we go there seems to be a random donkey walking along all by itself. we'll be out somewhere without a town for miles, and suddenly see a donkey by the side of the road just going about its business.

in the towns, however, there are random chickens walking around. they just roam the streets freely. if i owned them, i'd be concerned that thursday's dinner would wander off or get taken by the smiths down the street. but i assume they have these things figured out.

i knew to expect the donkeys and the chickens remind me of old western movies. but the weirdest animal related experience is the dogs. packs, actual packs, of dirty dogs walk about the towns looking for scraps. it just seems strange that no one has called the SPCA and put these dogs up for adoption. somebody needs to get on that.

My neck

one of the most annoying things i've found with my gear is my nods (night time occular device, aka nvgs - night vision goggles). try attaching a rod to your forehead, sticking up, and then place a small weight, just a few pounds, on the end of that rod. it throws my whole head balance off and kills my neck. if anybody was looking for something to include in a care package, painkillers are a good idea.

Armed Forces Network

in iraq we don't have comcast or time warner cable or anything like that. we have the armed forces network. it has channels like sports, news and movies that simply pirate the signal from real channels like espn, nbc, cnn, fox news, and whatever else might be of interest to us. and since most things we want to watch are on while we're asleep, the shows/games are rebroadcast a couple of times.

we have 2 tvs set up in our dfac and that's the only place to watch tv right now. but when we go back to the fob i can get AFN sent to my chu and watch it there. but at that point its kind of random. if i tune into the news channel it could be fox news, cnn, msnbc, or any of the nightly news shows.

also, there are commercials, but not to sell products like back home. instead, we have commercials reminding us to hydrate or on the importance of weapon safety.

just a little difference with this place i found interesting.

Mister, mister, football?

i'm pretty sure i like iraqi kids. and they seem fascinated with us. practically everywhere we go, a crowd of iraqi children gathers to watch and sometimes talk to us. there was one i remember, must have been mid to late teens, who decided to take the opportunity to practice his english on us. he would point to various objects and ask, "mister, mister, what's this?" at first i thought he was asking us so he could learn the english word for whatever he was pointing at, but later it seemed more like he was testing us to see if we knew. if we were busy doing something else or i was scanning my sector when he asked, he'd start to give me hints. he might have just been making sure he was right, but i'm thinking he saw himself as the teacher.

one thing a lot of them have in common is that they seem to view us as a moblie charity. the most popular request is for a football(soccer ball - which we know have a box of to give out) but they'd also ask for our gloves or glasses. they're very forward about it. they'll point to or mime what they want and say, "mister, mister, you give me?" very forward, but also very polite. every sentence starts out with "mister."

anyway, i'm pretty sure i like the iraqi people, especially the kids.

Bedouin

i've seen actual, real live bedouins. it was pretty cool. i saw some in kuwait, actually herding camels. still have no idea what they ate, cause i saw nothing but a few dead bushes for miles and miles. one of the camels started walking over to us and looked ready to spit (like a llama) at a sargeant from another platoon before being shooed away.

i also saw a sheep herder in iraq, with an actual sheep dog. none of them threatened to spit at us, but it was still pretty cool.

i have some very badly taken pictures of the camels from a friend and will post them when i can.

English as a second language

for any young people still taking grammer in school who may be reading this, i just want to say that you need to listen to your teachers, not me. i learned english, but write in American. it is not proper english in any way, shape or form, and should not be copied. there is no such word as "dunno." i admit to being the best at almost everything in this world, but grammer is not one of them. listen to your mother.

Sandy times at Iraqi High

i've been asked to address the sand issue. in kuwait, i hated it. it was everywhere and there was absolutely nothing blocking the wind from kicking up massive and annoying sand storms. the moon dust, very fine and very small sand, was particuarly bad.

where i'm at in iraq is much better. there's actual vegetation to go with some dirt. not as much wind. and the army helps out by paving the FOB and COP with gravel. i haven't had to deal with sand much since i left kuwait.

I'm an excellent driver

real quick, the rainman reference was for no better reason than that i couldn't come up with a better title.


anyways, one thing i still find interesting is how we (U.S. army) rule the road. with the new SOFA agreement they don't have to anymore, but almost every car still pulls off to the side of the road whenever we pass by. some are brave enough to test the new rules and pass us, but i've only seen them pass us on the other side of the median, going north on the southbound lane.

at the same time, i'm not such a big fan of parked cars by the side of the road.

Food, part 2

my last post on food suggested that i might gain the iraqi 15. now i'm not so sure. out at the cop we're so busy, i'm pretty much down to 1 meal a day, plus snacks.

The Army, it changes you

there used to be a time, we'll call it the first 23 years of my life, when i was content to be lazy. i could laze around in my bed or chair for days, weeks even, just hanging out watching tv and playing games. now, i come back to my CHU for a couple days of relaxing and watching movies, and i find myself wishing i could go out on patrol on a known route, just so i'd be doing something. sad, very sad.

also, i haven't exactly been known as a clean freak. anyone who's ever seen my room knows this. but since i joined the army, i find myself actually wanting to keep my room clean. doesn't mean i actually do it, but the thought is there. eh, not even the army can work miracles.

location, location, location

btw, we've moved to our COP already. sometime in the past. it's actually really nice. we've got our own dfac, gym, and MWR center complete with phones and internet. it's got everything the FOB has except a PX and pizza hut, but it's got it all close to my room. good stuff.

The weather outside is weather

so, i know i've said before that it's cold here, but there is now an add on to that. it was already cold enough, now imagine standing up in a convertable driving down the highway. that should give you a good idea of what it's like in the gunner's turret when we go out on mission. one night i wore 5 layers, literally, and was still cold. not fun.

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

my job is kinda up in the air right now. i was a bradly driver, but we're mostly using the new MRAPs now and i haven't been certified in those. so for now, i'm a gunner on the MRAP. might change, might be permanent. don't know.

for now i have a 240 (think big machine gun) in the turret, but i could also get a 50 cal up there (think bigger machine gun).

Mosque

there is a mosque on my FOB for all the iraqis who work (and live) here. thought that was interesting.

I'm late, i'm late, for a very important (redacted)

there are somethings i'll do i can tell you about and somethings i can't talk about because of opsec. one thing i'll never mention is the date i did or will do something. gives too much away. everything will have happened "at some point" and for somethings i'll wait a couple of days or even weeks to mention them.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

there are a lot of iraqis working on the fob. they run almost everything that isn't strictly military related, from the buses to the dfac to the MWR center to the baber shops to the resturants and all the little stores set up around post. and every single one i have met has been exceedingly polite.

Strange, very strange

i was more nervous going from texas to kuwait than from kuwait to iraq. it seems a lot like just another field exercise right now.

Unclean Animals

it's kinda weird having muslims serve me bacon, ham and pork. i dunno, maybe it's just me.

Army-speak

i've decided to put up a list of acronyms i frequently use so i don't have to keep translating into civilian every time. i'm eventually going to put this on the left sidebar so it stays fresh, but i don't have the time right now. i'll also update it as needed.

ACH - army combat helmet
COP - combat observation post
DFac - dinning facility
FOB - foward operation base
GOI - government of iraq
IA - iraqi army
IP - iraqi police
MRAP - mine resistant ambush protection (my new vehicle)
OPSEC - operational security
OTV - outer tactical vest (body armor)

My CHU

my chu (not entirely sure what it stands for, but it's my room) is not too bad. its basically a 6' x 20' metal box, but it comes furnished with 2 beds, 2 wall lockers, 2 chairs, 2 lamps, a desk and an heater/ac unit. i'm gonna add a few creature comforts of my own, but its not a bad start.

p.s. combat housing unit is my guess, but it's really just a guess.

My flight in

i forget the type of plane i flew to iraq on now, but it was a military aircraft. no more cushy civilian transports. we were packed in like sardines. 4 rows with 2 back to back facing the other two. i don't know if that's a very good description, but suffice it to say the plane was not made for comfort. we even had to wear ear plugs to drown out the noise. still, it was a short and decent flight.

Major Potts

i made an iraq to iraq call today and called my bro. happy about that. apparently we were actually at the same camp in kuwait for a couple of hours, but missed each other. he had the rank to wander around aimlessly while i was tethered to a chair. shame.

Greed

okay, i gave out my address. if anyone should feel the need to put it to use, i will be missing my fat-boy foods. fudge, cookies, brownies, fudge. all are good ideas. snacks in general will be greatly appreciated.

Ugandans

the ugandan military is here as well. they're nice enough to guard our dfacs and mwr centers. way to fight the good fight, uganda!

My FOB

the fob (foward operating base) i'm at is huge. i'm not going to say which one i'm at because of opsec, but it's big enough to have it's own bus system. it's got a giant dfac with about 8 different food lines, laundry service where we just drop of our laundry bag and pick it up the next day, and a good sized MWR (morale, wellfare, recreation). the MWR has pool tables, ping pong tables, tv's, game systems, a library, internet computers, phones, dart boards and even a movie theater. it's pretty nice.

i'm trying to think about what is interesting about this place. i've only been in the mid east for about 3 weeks, but some things are already starting to seem normal. if you have any questions, feel free to write them in a comment and i'll answer any i can.

I'm in Iraq

and all this time i thought they were talking about fraggle rock.

My Address

Spc. Potts, Andrew
B Co 1-12 Cav
APO AE 09351

Is Humanity Doomed?

for the world's finest military, the U.S. Army is incredibly unorganized. i can't explain all the reasons because of opsec, but take my word for it. this led me to wonder how we have ever won a war. then i thought, we may be disorganized, but our enemies have just always been worse. but some of those countries (britain, nazi germany, soviet union) were fairly developed and put much of their energies into their military, and yet they still lost.

if a developed country can put such a large percentage of their nation on a war footing for so many years and still get beat by the disorganized mess known as the U.S. Army, then we have a problem. either America has constantly and consistantly gotten lucky against superior forces and managed to come out on top, or humanity simply hasn't yet come across the right combination of disorganization that will cause every living soul to spontaneously and simultaneously catch on fire, drowning the world in flame and pain. i don't believe in luck, so i suggest you carry a fire extinguisher with you from now on.

or maybe doing absolutely nothing in kuwait has just given me too much time to think.

Food

it's very true that they feed us well here. tonight i had steak and lobster. i usually lose weight in the field, but now i'm thinking i might gain the iraqi 15.