Eating Plants On Earth Day Sounds Vaguely Cannibalistic

first let me just say i know the title doesn't make much sense, but i think i might have found it funny even if i wasn't sleep deprived, so i'm going with it anyway.

so, over the last 24 hours 2 strange things have happened. first, it rained and rained hard here. that's not really strange, it's not even that rare this time of year. it's more of a segue.

the second event is that i ate a salad for lunch, chicken caesar to be exact. what's more, i liked it and will probably eat it again. but don't worry. when i get back to the states i'll try to hide my salad eating for a while so as not to cause too much of a shock.

Songs Produce Madness

first i'm gonna start this post off with a rhetorical question. have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head? now, if you're a normal human being you'll probably answer with some version of yes. however, if you look back you'll see i didn't start the post off with a rhetorical question and therefore started it off with a lie. this is all just my way of saying i couldn't come up with a good way to bring up the subject.

anyways, i've decided getting a song stuck in your heard is much worse here, because with the stimulus void you can easily go days before getting it out. sometimes a particular song will have an easily traceable path. for instance, the U.S. military operates it's own radio station in iraq and plays it on the buses that shuttle people around the FOB. it has a format that will play all kinds of different music, like it's designed to please no one. it will go from rock to country to rap to pop in four songs. a couple of weeks ago the very last song i heard before getting off the bus at the end of the day was britney spears and i couldn't get it out of my head for 3 days. that's not really the point of this post, just an example, so no need to bring it up again.

i knew where that song came from, so while it was annoying i could manage it. for the last two days i've had "spring time for hitler" stuck in my head (the title of this post is a bit more subtle then i usually go for, but i hope it makes sense now). absolutely no idea where the song came from. it's a mystery for the ages.

When JOE's Attack - Coming This Fall On FOX

first let me start off with a couple definitions so i don't have to interrupt the story too much.

gunner's harness - a series of straps that go over each shoulder, around the waist and under the groin and are buckled in the front. it then connects to the floor of an open top gunner's turret such as on a humvee or mrap. it's designed to keep the gunner inside the vehicle in case of a roll over or large ied.

t-wall - simply a large slab of concrete that rings virtually every U.S. building in iraq.

ok, now it's story time.

a couple of days ago it was the CO's (commanding officer's) birthday, and we celebrated it like the dutiful soldiers were are. he knew we had a surprise planned for him, and he thought he was prepared. he wasn't. leading up to the surprise he was walking around with a hand mike (think corded telephone), swinging it around like nun-chucks thinking it would keep him safe. silly, silly CO.

on the signal we rushed him, picked him up and forcefully put him into a gunner's harness. he put up a good fight, but was no match for us. after getting him into the gunner's harness we duct taped his hands and feet together, connected the gunner's harness to a pulley system we had rigged up earlier, and hoisted him between two t-walls. this was a birthday party so of course there was cake. but since he was swinging back and forth and still making futile attempts to escape we couldn't give him a plate with cake on it and had to settle for throwing it at him. it was kinda like the carnival game where the ducks go back and forth and you have to knock them down with a ball. except it was our CO tied up and we were throwing cake at him.

NO CO'S WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS POST

What's Tan and Drab and Orange All Over?

there is so much sand just hovering in the air here that when i walked outside this morning i thought i was wearing orange tinted eyepro (milspeak for glasses).

My Momma Always Used To Say, "Life Is Like A Box Of Fudge." (She Never Said That, But I'm Incredibly Tired And Couldn't Think Of A Good Title.)

i just want to take a moment to share some reactions to the fudge my wonderful mother sent me. there are several people who, when i offer them more fudge, will say "no, no, i can't eat anymore" as they take one, two, three pieces out of the box. but 2 people in particular provide a good reaction to the chocolaty goodness that arrived.

i'm pretty sure if the DEA saw our first subject eating the fudge they'd classify it as a narcotic. he is incredibly addicted to it. earlier today i told him i had good news and bad news. the bad news was that the box of fudge i'd been sharing was empty. at that point he got visibly depressed. when i told him the good news was that i had a second box and held it out to him, his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and everything was right with the world again. i'm pretty sure when that box finally runs out tomorrow i'm going to find him shaking and sweating on the floor and have to take him to rehab.

our second subject is my roommate and day time counterpart. when he came in to work to relieve me the first day i had the fudge i gave him some. we had a few pieces while i briefed him on the nights events. then disaster struck and i dropped a piece. there was a multi-day sandstorm going on outside (which easily finds its way inside) and the floor has never met the legal definition of clean, so i picked up the piece of fudge and was going to throw it in our trash can. he caught sight of this and screamed out "NOOOOOOOOO" as if instead of a solitary piece of fudge into the trash i was throwing a box full of puppies into a wood chipper. i was momentarily thrown off by this and he took the window of opportunity to snatch the piece of fudge out of my hand and pop it in his mouth.

so, mother, that is my long winded way of saying you are directly contributing to the societal and medical breakdown of the U.S. Army. delicious, delicious breakdown.