My Momma Always Used To Say, "Life Is Like A Box Of Fudge." (She Never Said That, But I'm Incredibly Tired And Couldn't Think Of A Good Title.)

i just want to take a moment to share some reactions to the fudge my wonderful mother sent me. there are several people who, when i offer them more fudge, will say "no, no, i can't eat anymore" as they take one, two, three pieces out of the box. but 2 people in particular provide a good reaction to the chocolaty goodness that arrived.

i'm pretty sure if the DEA saw our first subject eating the fudge they'd classify it as a narcotic. he is incredibly addicted to it. earlier today i told him i had good news and bad news. the bad news was that the box of fudge i'd been sharing was empty. at that point he got visibly depressed. when i told him the good news was that i had a second box and held it out to him, his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and everything was right with the world again. i'm pretty sure when that box finally runs out tomorrow i'm going to find him shaking and sweating on the floor and have to take him to rehab.

our second subject is my roommate and day time counterpart. when he came in to work to relieve me the first day i had the fudge i gave him some. we had a few pieces while i briefed him on the nights events. then disaster struck and i dropped a piece. there was a multi-day sandstorm going on outside (which easily finds its way inside) and the floor has never met the legal definition of clean, so i picked up the piece of fudge and was going to throw it in our trash can. he caught sight of this and screamed out "NOOOOOOOOO" as if instead of a solitary piece of fudge into the trash i was throwing a box full of puppies into a wood chipper. i was momentarily thrown off by this and he took the window of opportunity to snatch the piece of fudge out of my hand and pop it in his mouth.

so, mother, that is my long winded way of saying you are directly contributing to the societal and medical breakdown of the U.S. Army. delicious, delicious breakdown.